Honor Among Rioters

I have morbid fear of crowds. Actually if there are more than ten people around me and they aint confined to a screen (tv or comp doesnt really matter) I get really nervous. Needless to say that my participation in any riot is usually discussing its merits or otherwise in a bar watching the rioters in a tv screen.But I have really come to respect these walkers to work. They really do have discipline. Hear me out before you pepper spray my facebook page! They respect rush hour. They never start before 9am or after 3pm. They also NEVER riot on weekends, which means alot. But the single most important reason why they should win the Nobel Riot prize is their respect for Alcohol dispensing zones. The other day they were approaching Wandegs which is like Nairobi west and Buru combined before Kaguthi and Mututho. They were faced with a dilema. To disrupt the main access route to Wandegs and potentially have several bars closed for hours or to disrupt traffic flowing to a National refferal hospital. The choice was easy and the alcohol kept flowing. If you are in a bar reading this, raise your glas and toast to HONOUR.

© Kigz Briefs From the Diaspora

Necessary Evil

I know the image that corruption has in Africa. Apparently it is the reason we dont have

power and running water. I have my doubts about that, but that is important. What is important is that

we need crooks or at least alleged crooks. Without them, we are doomed. Consider this, some

dude steals 7 billion worth of fuel and runs off to the UK attending lavish parties every

weekend. The government doesnt even consider arresting him. Fast forward to when some Kenyan

dudes launder money in some nondescript island owned by the queen. Apparently it is a crime

and the brits want them bad. Suddenly the 7 billion dude is a criminal, has been arrested

and might be extradited or whatever transporting a criminal is called these days. They want

to exchange him for the money laundering folks. Neat
Consider what would have happened if we did not have crooks to exchange! The 7 billion oil

guy would have lived happily ever after and we would be fucked!
Corruption is necessary, at least so we can have crooks to exchange!

© Kigz Briefs From the Diaspora

Escort Services

There is an excess of VIPs in East Africa. I mean in Nairobi we are just getting used to VPs and PMs and stuff. Luckily, Kibaki is a mean guy. He regulates who gets a convoy with a siren. Not so in Kampala. The number of guys who have access to police escort convoys is enormous! And the convoys are really something to behold. The first time I saw one I thought there had been a coup! First there is a siren blazing police sedan. This is followed by a variable number of pick up trucks with a dozen cops in the back each blazing a sub-machine gun. The VIPs are always in SUVs following the machine gun trucks. Then a few other vehicles in the rear. When I realized it wasn't a coup, I then figured it must be the Head of State! Wapi! I was told. 'That is the husband of the deputy speaker of Parliament!' I was corrected.

© Kigz Briefs From the Diaspora

Friendly Guests

Tourism is a dynamic an industry as any. Enetrprenuers in the industry will usually stop at

nothing to ensure their guests enjoy their stay. But some are more ingenoeus than others.

Bangkok is a favourite destination for many either for business or for holidays. The holiday

makers are usually treated to a wide variety of goodies on offer. Commercial Sex is common.

They have massage palours that always start with the extras and offer the massage later if

you are interested. But the most ingenous way of business I saw, was the classification of

hotels. Hotel owners know that the average tourist will hit the pub and pick up a friend and

end up with the friend in their hotel rooms. Hotels that allow you to bring in your 'chips

funga' are labelled Guest Friendly hotels! Dont you love the English language? Have a

friendly week.

© Kigz Briefs From the Diaspora

All events, names and places mentioned here and in past articles by the author are a figment

of his imagination. Any relation with actual events, names and people is purerly

coincidental. No damage of character real or imagined is intended and any such event is

highly regretable.